| Pos | Name | Skill | Performance | |
| K | Peter Schmeichel | 9 | +1.70 (18.89%) | |
| D | Sami Hyypia | 9 | +2.60 (28.89%) | |
| D | Jeff Heaney | 9 | +2.10 (23.33%) | |
| D | Zamri Blackjackz | 5 | +2.10 (42.00%) | |
| D | Nancy America | 4 | +1.90 (47.50%) | |
| M | Charlie Adams | 9 | -3.50 (-38.89%) |  |
| M | Mensa Gail | 8 | +2.70 (33.75%) | |
| M | John Barnes | 8 | +2.30 (28.75%) | |
| M | Mark Corrigan | 5 | +2.30 (46.00%) | |
| M | Miziler Alonso | 4 | +1.80 (45.00%) | |
| S | Fucking Hell Frankel | 5 | +0.60 (12.00%) |  |
| 6.82 | +16.60 (22.13%) |
Possession / Performance
| Performance | Skill | Name | Pos | |
| -3.40 (-42.50%) | 8 | Shaun Rowett | K | |
| -1.40 (-15.56%) | 9 | Manfred Hausmann | D | |
| -1.00 (-12.50%) | 8 | Jayjay McLovin | D | |
| +0.10 (2.00%) | 5 | Borat Sagdiyev | D | |
| -4.00 (-50.00%) | 8 | Indiana Jones | M | |
| -2.00 (-28.57%) | 7 | Joshua Davison | M | |
| -2.50 (-35.71%) | 7 | Jeff Stelling | M | |
| -1.80 (-30.00%) | 6 | Double Andimsold | M | |
| -2.30 (-32.86%) | 7 | Alan Shearer | S | |
| -1.60 (-26.67%) | 6 | Ollie Guy | S | |
| -1.70 (-28.33%) | 6 | Lauren Ledsham | S | |
| -21.60 (-28.05%) | 7.00 |