| Pos | Name | Skill | Performance | |
| K | Derek Malloy | 4 | -0.50 (-12.50%) | |
| D | Juan-Carlos Zarate | 8 | -1.70 (-21.25%) | |
| D | Ramón Maurinho | 8 | -3.00 (-37.50%) | |
| D | Cheating Jeff | 7 | +1.00 (14.29%) | |
| D | Sebastian Nagel | 7 | -1.10 (-15.71%) | |
| D | Gary Pallister | 6 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| M | Lily Hooper | 8 | -0.80 (-10.00%) | |
| M | Brett Griffith | 7 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| M | Freddie Herbert | 5 | -0.50 (-10.00%) | |
| S | Jerry Moss | 7 | -2.30 (-32.86%) | |
| S | Ole Gunnar Solskjaer | 6 | -1.00 (-16.67%) | |
| 6.64 | -9.90 (-13.56%) |
Possession / Performance
| Performance | Skill | Name | Pos | |
| +1.30 (16.25%) | 8 | Allan McGregor | K | |
| -0.80 (-10.00%) | 8 | Captain Fishfingers | D | |
| +0.30 (4.29%) | 7 | Branislav Ivanovic | D | |
| -0.70 (-10.00%) | 7 | Gavino Del Neri | D | |
 |
-0.50 (-5.56%) | 9 | Jesus Christ | M |
| -0.80 (-8.89%) | 9 | Frank Lampard | M | |
| -1.90 (-21.11%) | 9 | John Keogh | M | |
| -0.60 (-8.57%) | 7 | Cristiano Messi | M | |
| -0.80 (-11.43%) | 7 | Francis MacLeish | S | |
| -1.00 (-20.00%) | 5 | Matias Cesar | S | |
|
-1.30 (-26.00%) | 5 | Jesus Claus | S |
| +0.20 (2.86%) | 7 | Group Sex | R | |
 |
-0.40 (-5.71%) | 7 | Healthy Fastfood | R |
|
+0.60 (10.00%) | 6 | Lucas Piazon | R |
| -6.40 (-6.34%) | 7.21 |